Friday, October 31, 2014

As of lately..

Where to even begin...

Since I last wrote (in March!  Holy moly it's been a long time), I have lost my job (in June) and moved back home to St. Joseph, MI to live with my parents (August).  It's definitely not every 26 year-old woman's dream to be living with her parents...but I'm not gonna lie - it's been nice.  Having lived alone for a year and a half, it's nice to have "roommates" and people to talk to, real, live - in your face, talk to throughout the day, people.

For the first few months I just kind of relaxed and took it easy, all while looking for work.  I still kind of feel like I'm in this place where I "don't know what I want to be when I grow up."  So that makes things a little bit difficult.  I'm trying to figure out what my skills are, what I enjoy, where and what might be a good fit.

I feel that I'm 26...I should know what I want to do with my life!  I'm an "adult" and should have this figured out.  It's so frustrating.  And then I'm afraid that even if I do get a job - that I'd fail at it.  GAH!  Life can be so frustrating at times.  I wish God would just speak to me.  I wish he would yell and me and tell me where to look for work.  I feel like a lost sheep.  If you think of it, I'd love some prayers.

But anyway, in the mean time, I recently got a little part time job at a little place downtown SJ called The Broad Street Cafe.  It's been good to have a little income to be able to pay my bills and to have something to prevent me from sleeping my days away.  If you know the Carlsons - you know we love our late nights and sleeping in!  :)

Aside from all that work related stuff, I found out in June that I'm going to be an Aunt!  She (yes, she!) is due to be born February 16, 2015!  I cannot wait!  I cannot believe my brother is going to be a dad!  That is just crazy to me.  Ben and Kristen are going to be great parents - I just know it.  Kristen looks so cute with her growing belly.  I love it.  Even though we are far away, I'm still super excited.

Other little things - I have made some new friends at church.  That's been nice.  One of the girls is coming over tomorrow morning to make apple pie.  Yum!  I've joined a Monday night Bible study, studying the Psalms as prayers.  That's been good.  I also joined (this week!) my church's Christmas choir group.  We have rehearsals on Tuesdays.  I'm an alto.  It's been a while since I've sang in an organized choir (I sang in Gospel Choir at Calvin), but this should be good!

I found a cool thing online called "101 Goals for 1001 Days."  I wrote a list of 101 Goals.  I know now that a couple of months has passed, that some of my goals are a little unreasonable, but I've been having fun working on the ones that are doable.  For instance, I have done some writing (a poem, a haiku poem, and a short story for a writing competition), I have taught myself chess (although I think I've since forgotten how all the pieces move, haha), I'm attempting to learn a song on the piano (I need to get back at that!), amongst other things.  I need to print that list so it stands out more to me on a day-to-day basis.

I'm trying to think if there's anything else...but I'm drawing a blank.  Well, I guess that's my sign to "sign off" for now.  Thanks for reading.  I hope life is treating you well!  Seeeeee ya later!




Sunday, March 23, 2014

Things...

I was going through some old paperwork and filing things away when I came across a list.  This list had two categories: "Things I Like: Me" and "Things I Like: Misc Others".  I found it kind of interesting, so I thought I'd share it with you here!

Things I Like: Me
1.  I persevere
2.  I love others well
3.  I work hard
4.  I am intelligent
5.  I'm tenderhearted
6.  I always try my best
7.  I am passionate & real
8.  I'm honest, raw
9.  I'm creative
10.  I'm organized
11.  I'm a dreamer
12.  I'm beautiful

I need to memorize this list for the days when I feel like a failure, when I feel down in the dumps and worthless.  I'm still kind of shocked that I wrote this list.  I must have been feeling good when I wrote it!  I need to keep this list with me at all times, haha.

Now for the other list!

Things I Like: Misc Others
1.  My friends
2.  My family
3.  My church
4.  Coffee!  (coffee shops)
5.  Chocolate!
6.  Music
7.  Books/poetry (bookstores)
8.  Arts/crafts
9.  Learning new things
10.  Camping
11.  Adventures
12.  Outdoors
13.  Beaches, sunsets
14.  Bonfires (s'mores!)
15.  Dreams, goals
16.  COLORS!
17.  Lists/organizing
18.  Creating things
19.  Movies/TV (not all!)
20.  Exercising
21.  Good restaurants
22.  The arts in general
23.  The comics (Sunday's)
24.  Audrey Hepburn
25.  HARRY POTTER
26.  Alaska
27.  All the seasons
28.  Sewing things
29.  New/fun projects/dreams
30.  Traveling
31.  Spanish

Some of these seem random to me, like Spanish.  I would love to learn to be fluent in Spanish, but I don't know why its on a list of things that I like.  But this list just makes me feel alive.  It makes me feel joyful.  It reminds me of who I am.

I still have been struggling with lack of hours at work; I never found that second job, or another job in general.  I'm still looking.  But reading through this list has helped me realize that life is good.  I am not my work.  I am many more things than that.  I am a complex woman designed by God, created in his image.  And God has a plan for my life.  I need not fear.  I need to be strong and courageous.  (Easier said than done.)  "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self discipline."  2 Timothy 1:7.  We are not to be shy or timid or fearful!  But powerful, loving, and disciplined!

Not much new has been going on in my life lately.  Been on a couple first dates.  Nothing has come from any of them, though they've been a sufficient mix of fun and awkward.  Haha.  Lo (one of my best friends) moved back to California, where she's from.  That was really sad.  I don't think it's quite hit me yet that she's gone.  But I got to hang out with her a bunch before she left, so that was nice.  I'm trying to teach myself the guitar.  It's been a challenge.  I'm not sure I have the rhythm for it, like knowing when and how to strum, but we'll see.  I went to St. Joe this past weekend to go to a wellness conference with my mom.  It was nice to be home for a bit, got to hang out with another of my best friends, Kathryn.

So the year of the almond is going fairly well (if you remember from my last post)!  I'm still praying for the perfect job and the right guy to both come into my life.  But I know God will take care of me and he has the perfect plan in mind.  So I just need to have faith and trust in that plan.

I hope this post finds you all well.  Know that I love you.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Hello 2014!

2014 is going to be a good year!  Why you might ask?  Because I got the almond.  Haha.  It's Swedish tradition at Christmastime to have rice pudding for dessert and in the pudding is a single almond.  Whoever gets the almond will have good luck for the following year.  I have never once gotten the almond.  Well, this year, I did!  :)  Hooray!

But beyond that, I know that God is good and he will bless this year as he has blessed me in every other year.  While 2013 was a year of many trials, I have hope that 2014 will be a year of joy.  I'm not saying there won't be trials, in fact -- there already have been -- but I'm counting on God to bring joy despite those trials.  For it says in James: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4)

I have hope that God will use the trials in my life to develop and mature my faith.  Right now I'm struggling with lack of hours at work, so I'm in the process of looking for a second job (if any of you know of any establishment looking for workers for the morning, let me know!).  I know that God will take care of me; I am his daughter and he loves and me.

 On another note, birthday week is almost upon us.  My brother and sister-in-laws birthdays are the 13th, my mom's is the 15th and mine is the 17th.  I can't wait to turn 26!  *eye roll*  This means I'm over the hump on my way to 30.  When I think of thirty, I always think of the movie 13 Going on 30 and the line "thirty flirty and thriving."  Haha.  But anyway.  Life is and will be good regardless of my age.  :)

Anywho - thanks for stopping by.  Much love to you all.