Thursday, January 28, 2016

Love love love

Last night about 8 or 9 of us gathered to listen to a message from Randy Gariss that my friend Aaron had a recording of.  It was all about relationships and love.  It's a five part series that we're going to be meeting to do on Wednesday evenings (you're all invited!!).  It was really interesting!  I just wanted to share a bit.

The main gist of what we discussed was how there are basically three types of love.  He shared/reviewed two of them.  The first is Eros, the second is Philea.

Most people think of Eros as erotic and physical, however it is more than that.  Eros love is basically the idea of "I'll love you if..."  It's a form of drug.  A way to cope with life and one's insecurities.  For instance, I'll love you if you make me feel good about myself.  I'll love you if you  make me dinner.  I'll love you if you this that and the other.  It's definitely a conditional kind of love.

The second, Philea, is essentially "I love you because..."  Randy thinks this kind of love is okay in a dating relationship but not in a marriage.  This kind of love means that you are looking for specific characteristics and if that person fits that mold, then you will love them.  The thing is, people change.  No one is static - we all change throughout life's experiences, both good and bad.  So if/when a person changes and they no longer fit your mold, the love fades.

The next time we meet we will discuss the best kind of love (which I'm assuming is agape).  But in reflecting on my experiences...I definitely can see how my last relationship was not the "good" kind of love.  I think that "old" John (since I have a "new" John) loved me because of who I was.  However, when I went through a hard time toward the end of 2012 and beginning of 2013, I changed.  Life happened and I was no longer the person he fell in love with.  In addition to him not being tough enough and strong enough to walk with me through the hard times, I changed and he did not love who I was after that change.  This is Philea.

I'm not saying I'm much better.  I think that I loved him in the Eros sense of love.  I was insecure in who I was and not confident.  My self esteem was very weak.  I think that my love was based on the way he made me feel.  He "completed" me - which is so unhealthy - it should have been God completing me.

While that break-up was extremely painful and came at such a devastating time in my life, I think it was the best thing that could have happened to me.  Because of that break-up, I was able to grow more into the woman of God that I am supposed to be.  I was able to learn to love myself, flaws and all.  I'm not saying my self-esteem is perfect right now, but I have definitely grown.

Anyway, those are just some of my musings.  I'm excited to learn more as we continue to meet and discuss.  Please post your thoughts or questions if you have any!  Thanks guys.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Birthday celebrations!

Before I jump into my birthday celebrations - I want to give you an update on how my goals are going!  As far as reading Anna Karenina goes, I am now past my mini-page goal for January and I am on page 107!   Wahoo!  Now I just need to get to 158 by the end of February and I'll be on track.  I have been studying for my exam - so there's progress in that regard.  I haven't made any new progress on the payment for my car repairs, but I did make a payment this January, and I'll make one in another couple of weeks.  I have made zero improvement with reaching my goal weight.  However, I completed week one of the BBG!  And I calorie counted for most of last week, but once my birthday hit I kinda took a break.  Once the chocolate peanut butter pie is outta my fridge, I'll jump back into doing that.  As far as connecting with people, I had a phone date with my lovely friend Rachel this month; and I connected with Beth too!  (more on that later).  So I've reached that goal for the month.  And as for reading The Celebration of Discipline - I am discussing the next chapter with my friend Kayla tomorrow - so there's forward motion there too!  Wahoo!  One more goal I am thinking about adding is running a 10K again.  John and I have talked about training for the River Bank 10K in May.  We shall see.

Now time to talk about birthday fun!  My 28th birthday was this past weekend (January 17th).  On Saturday I had a bowling extravaganza!  Here's a pic of all the people that showed up:

It was so fun!  I bowled 107 on my first game and 117 on my second game.  Not too shabby!  Also the 117 equals my date of birth!  (Get it?  117=1/17).  After bowling we all went out to pizza at Silver Beach Pizza.  Yum!  I got an Ace Pear Cider which is oh so good along with the Garlic Greek - my favorite pizza they have!

After that and some relaxing back at my apartment (Ash and I played Mario Party!), a bunch of us headed to grab appetizers/dinner and drinks at The Buck.  Then went back to SBP for more fun!  Here's a shot of me and Ash and our guys.  :)

Then on my actual birthday we all went to church and then to Sophia's for lunch afterward.  Then John and I went to Goodwill where I made out like a bandit with some great finds!  Then dinner at my parents where one of my best friends, Beth, surprised me from Grand Rapids!  What fun!  Here's a shot of us:

So that was that!  I had Monday off for MLK so Beth and I stayed up SUUUPER late on Sunday night (she's a 3rd shifter) watching Extreme Weight Loss (my new addiction).  Then when we woke up we went to The Mason Jar for brunch.  We even split a chocolate bacon waffle!  It was soo good!

So that's that!  I had a great weekend celebrating.  It was so fun!  28 is gonna be a great year I can already tell!  :)  Hope y'all had a great weekend too!  Sending my love.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Goals for 2016

I love making goals and writing lists.  I always have and I always will.  So I am going to write and post some of my goals for 2016!  (I am also hyper-organized and have categorized my goals...I'm kind of a dork like that).

  • I want to read all 817 pages of Anna Karenina!  (So far I'm on page 64, so I'm making progress.  I think I just need to read about 67 pages a month now to complete it by the end of the year!  Woot woot!)
  • Sign up for, study, take, and pass the Masters of Social Work licensing exam!  I have a study guide for it, now I just need to actually study and get this sucker over the end of the year!  What a relief that would be.
  • Pay off my debt to my auto-mechanic.  Elaina the Elantra (John named her!) has cost me quite a bit of money in repairs the past year or two, so I've racked up quite a bill.  My goal is to have that all caught up by the end of the year.
  • Get down to my goal weight!  Ideally I'd like to get down to my goal weight by the time Christina and Danny's wedding roles around (May 28th), but I don't know how realistic that is.  In order to accomplish this goal, I have two sub goals:
    • Complete Kayla Itsines' 12 week Bikini Body Guide program!  I started on Monday and today will mark my second day of it.  I've got this!  (Hopefully positive thinking will help me, haha.)
    • Count calories successfully.  I don't want to become super anal about this but I definitely want to be more aware of what I am putting in my body.  I'm not really giving myself a limit, but trying to stick to roughly 1500 calories a day, give or take.
  • Connect with family or friends twice a month.  I want to be realistic and not make this goal too high, but I also want to keep up with my family and friends - whether it be a physical "let's grab coffee or a drink" get together, or just a phone date.  This is important to me.
  • I want to finish reading The Celebration of Discipline.  I'm reading and discussing this book with my friend Kayla and we have gotten through some of it, but I really want to complete it by the end of the year.  I'd also like to try fasting a couple of times - one of the disciplines - but I'm not gonna make that an official goal.
Well folks, that's what I've got for now!  I'll try and keep ya updated as the year progresses.  And feel free to cheer me on toward my goals.  I also have that 101 Goals in 1001 Days that I'm still working on on occasion.  So that's fun.  Hope all is well and that you're enjoying the start of your new year!